Co-ed’s Virginity selling for over $3.7 M

This headline was overshadowed by Hillary’s day-long testimony yesterday.  I was plugged into national news all day, listening to that Superbowl of Assholes.

There are so many places to go with this one – It was really CNN’s video clip about Natalie Dylan that caught my attention.  There are a lot of people you shouldn’t trust for your news, especially if you can’t make up your own mind about things.  In particular, be wary of any information outlet that is forced to dumb itself down for the sake of Public Decency.

Of course, that doesn’t stop them from offering a fucking T-shirt.

This really cuts to the core of what is wrong with the way America views sex – let’s go right down the list . . .

1. Virginity: This reminds me of that despicable “Sweet 16″ show, about the lavish birthday parties rich tit-heads throw for their spoiled little girls.

I have never shared the fascination some men have with virgin girls.  Personally, I’m an “experience” guy, I like a good Bang for my Buck.  What’s the perceived value in a female virgin?  Is it the belief that she’s tighter and the sex will be more pleasurable?  Or is it something more “intangible”?

I’ll dismiss this non-sense on face.  Any guy whose been around the block a few times ought to know that an inexperienced girl might have a box like a wind tunnel.  Conversely, that stripper about to make the leap to porn, who works out six days a week, can shoot ping-pong balls (accurately) out of her vagina, or lift a stack of quarters off your beer and make change for a dollar.

Is she pure?  Hell no!  She’s got something better – experience.  Sure, Natalie might be tight but what difference does that make?  The girls at the Bunny Ranch can give her all the pointers they want; understanding the “theory of operation” is no substitute for practice.

As for intangibility, there’s no such thing.  Intangibility is the word a man slaps on paying $3.7 Million for lousy sex.  When someone waxes poetic about the “passion” of a Ferrari, they’re not talking about some magical pixie dust sprinkled on the engine – they’re talking about the thousands of hours of R&D that go into making the finished product . . . which brings me back to experience.

You can keep the 72 Virgins.  When I get to Hell I’ll take two strippers and a bottle of Wild Turkey, thanks.

2. Prostitution.  I was not surprised to see Dennis Hof’s name pop up – if a girl is going to auction off her virginity, EBay is not the place.  She could try Craigslist, but I wouldn’t recommend it – Natalie isn’t going to pay for Grad School with lint and stale Cheetos.

If you want a good lay and money’s no object, The Moonlight Bunny Ranch is the place.  I’ve never been – but I’ve seen more than a few of Isabella Soprano’s videos.  If the movie is as good as the trailers, then it’s worth the price of admission.

Of course, CNN’s bobble-heads (the male, in particular), would have to mouth off about what a stupid decision Natalie is making.  In their dilute way they were calling her a whore.  Which is fine . . . she can color the whole thing however she wants, she’s expressly looking to trade sex for money.  She doesn’t have power windows or heated seats, so the Virgin bit is just the headline to get the buyers in the door.  However, that doesn’t make her a bad person by itself . . . plenty of women take money for sex every day.  They’re called “women”.

Personally, I think she’s a smart girl.  Her sister managed to pay for college after only three weeks at the Bunny Ranch.  Natalie knows a good thing when she sees it.  She upped the ante with the whole Virgin angle, but that shows that she knows how to work a deal.  $3.7 M would tick a lot of options at the local Lamborghini dealership.  If it were my money, I’d be demanding “value added services”.  ”Crying” and “Bleeding” don’t count.

3. Stigma.  I don’t envy Natalie.  She’s got every Jesus-thumping housewife in America calling her a whore.  None of them have any room to talk.  They’ll hide behind some sense of Christian propriety, but the truth is that they’re jealous because they sold themselves cheap.

I lied . . . Jealousy doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.  If she’s as smart as I think she is, Natalie will capitalize on this well beyond the initial auction.  If she hasn’t already, she’s going to have offers raining down from every major porn outlet.  She’s an air-brush away from being on the next cover of Playboy.  All she needs to do is capitalize on her 15 minutes and she can make enough money to start her own business and laugh all the way to the bank.

People can insult her all they want (and they will).  Wait until she launches her own line of lingerie and sex toys, or maybe a production company for softcore erotica.   They’ll be sniveling at her feet when she becomes her own pocket industry.  Forget about stigma . . . if that isn’t Female Empowerment, I don’t know what is.

(Finished reading?  Get Fuck’d.)